A dozen or so things I could never do.

• Bench press anything less than 1 tonne.
• Date a girl with a faster car than me.
• Walk past a mirror without checking myself out.
• Pass a drug test.
• Listen to Bliss'n Eso for longer than a 10 seconds without laughing.
• Put a t-shirt on without stretching the neck larger than the waist.
• Play video games without a reinforced titanium controller.
• Enjoy sex with someone that isn't me.
• Wear a baseball hat and tuck my ears into the hat.
• Talk about something that doesn't involve my awesome physique.