- Time spent praying/ preying on minors could be better spent up in the gym.
- Priests don't rock enough bicep curls in the confessional booth (when clearly they fucking should be).
- Body and blood of Christ don't get you big (might I suggest these two be replaced with low-carb alternatives such as protein flakes or strawberry protein shakes).
- "The Lord is my Sheppard" isn't the type of music that gets one in the mood for working out (unless it was laid it out over some drum'n bass shit) (Office gag).
- If you weigh too much you won't ascend into Heaven.
- Priests believe in fake stories such as one session a week gets you big.
- More mass doesn't mean more muscle.
- If a priest's neck gets too big then they'd have no shoulders to hang their robes off.
- The pooh-change theists place in the collection basket each week isn't enough to cover a gym membership. Moreover, I'd be pretty fucking scared if I saw a naked priest in the showers with me (that's if there was enough room in there).
- A big priest wouldn't be talking to anyone smaller than them and thus, would never deliver mass again.
Maybe priests are a little big, but those baggy drapes hide their physique? I don't want to fucking find out.
Here's a fucked up priest in Melbourne:
