tonight i watched a emotional movie...

it did not move me, you'd have to be pretty fucking strong or a industrial sized crane to do that.

my large frame aside, i spent the whole time watching the movie thinking about how awesome my two cannons felt after last night's new workout regime. occasionally i'd look down to grab my protein shake knavishly concealed in a coke cup from the cinema - i don't want to look like a weirdo or anything - each time flexing hard as i brought the drink to my mouth.

even if i lifted my arm in just the slightest manner it would block out the whole movie screen. i was sitting in the front row because the small attendant said i was a fire hazard. yeah, these two cannons are burning. yeah. recognise.

NO DOUBT everyone in the near vicinity of me was thinking how delicious my two bulging cannons look. take home the memories of the best movie you'll ever see or my photos are being sold in the lobby... at the eye-candy bar. fuck i'm good.

p.s. did i mention that i took up three seats? now you know.

Why I hate small guys part 82

...

sometimes it can suck to be a big guy.

big arms. big pay cheques.

pretty self-explanatory ey, brew.

My dream girl

Given how many girls I have sex with, I'm not normally one to wank. However I am prepared to make an exception. I might ask her to work out with me.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMhp6G19Qvg

i'll be back.

well, i am back. as for the arnie reference - he is an overrated little man. don't know why i'd be lowering myself to that shit.

the excuse for not posting: my fingers have gotten so big that i'm finding it difficult to use a standard sized keyboard. even typing this message is really fucking tedious. i've* had to type this message with a stick in between getting massages from 18 y.o virgins who have been saving themselves for me since i was born - treat 'em mean keep 'em keen for 23 years yo! so really, i* type a few characters, get a massage, type a little more, watch jessica alba work it on our web cam link, type a little more, send jessica alba video to all my homies, type, massage and so on.

i'll post again when the new keyboard comes.



*18 y.o bitches are actually typed this message for me. sorry, i lied. what are you going to do about it anyway? i take the apology back. not that i have to. i could beat you up because i am bigger than you.