Midgets

There's a whole heap of fucked up porno sites on the internet. I take it you've all heard of midget porn and how hilariously funny it is. While I think it's great that people from all walks of life can come together and laugh at people smaller than them, no one has ever stopped and asked me, humongous hitachi, how I feel about it. Every girl I've ever shagged has been about 3 times smaller than me (no midget). Sometimes I don't find it funny.

Help! call 000

Growing up, my family was really rude to me. "He's just big boned" they would say (yeah, clearly I'm this fucking huge because of my bones). "lol!!!1 I should put a brick on your head so you stop growing" or "Someone should put you in a vice so you stop growing sideways" are just a few examples.

This got me thinking, where the fuck would you find a vice that's as wide as a Hummer? Would this vice be made of titanium? Would my entire family be strong enough to force me into this vice or would they trick me into getting into it? I know they're going behind my lats to do this shit to me, what should I do?

Shrug off.

A small guy interputed my first set of shrugs at the gym the other day with a newby question - "What muscle does that exercise train?"
"Your ankles" I replied. Then busted out another 3 reps up in his face.