Best Tattoo ever.

Bingo

This is going to be another one of those 'This is what I did today' posts. You don't like the idea of that? I'm bigger than you. I'll beat you up. Don't forget.

Tonight I played Bingo - one of those sports where size doesn't matter, a bit like Ping-pong. That's why I don't like it [no racist]. It's hard to staunch out your opponents because, for the most part, people have their heads down crunching numbers and it's hard to standover people that can't see or hear threats you make towards them (unless you're standing up in their face, bitch).

If it was up to me, bingo would be a full contact sport. The person that calls bingo would have to have to wrestle with the pensioner while numbers continued to be called out. There would be spot fights breaking out all over the place to fight it out over who gets to be the first to claim the meat basket. At the same time, they need the protein from the meat more than I do.

Open invitation.

People watch me play street fighter and say, "You think you're good because you finished the game with perfect health every fight".
I know I'm good. They don't know that the game was set on the most difficult setting.

I'll challange anyone to an arm-wrestle and/or street fighter match. Loser has to accept a reach-around from the midget of my choice.

Bodybuilding Treat For Valentine's Day

Valentines Day is usually a time for treating that special someone. A rose, perfume or some chocolates perhaps. If you wish to show your love with fine food, but want to avoid all the excess calories, the following two recipes should help. In fact, they are so tasty, and nutritious, they should appeal not only to the health conscious among us. Give your Valentine the personal touch with these easy to make recipes. They are sure to impress.

Hardcore Valentine Chicken

"Let's cook something healthy and tasty to build muscle."

You Will Need:
A cookie heart-shape cutter
3/4 cup of polenta
3x 3/4 cup of water
One chicken breast
Balsamic vinegar
Salt and pepper
Frisee lettuce

Directions:
Combine water and some salt in a saucepot. Over a high flame, bring water to the boil and slowly stir in polenta. Heat and stir for five minutes until mixture pulls away from sides of pot. Pour out onto a lightly moistened platter and flatten into the square. Let it cool off. Use the cookie cutter to cut polenta into the shape of a heart.

You can make three full hearts out of this square. Set the grill at 400 degrees. Put the chicken breast to marinate with two-tablespoons of balsamic vinegar, some salt and black pepper. Marinate for 10 minutes.

Now take the chicken breast out and cut it into the heart shape with the cookie cutter. Grill for four minutes. Serve polenta and chicken hearts on a plate. Decorate your plate with frisee lettuce. Enjoy this healthy Valentine dinner.

Protein Loaded Chocolate Truffles

We all love chocolate truffles, but for bodybuilding purposes we would like them without sugar, and to be low in carbs, and loaded with protein. Impossible? Well here is a recipe you will love.

Ingredients:
0.75 lbs of dark sugar free chocolate
One cup of Quaker Quick One-minute Oats
One espresso shot
Four Splenda packets
One cup of chocolate protein powder
Water

Preparation:
Chop block of the chocolate with knife and put in double boiler with the water at the bottom of pot. Once the chocolate has melted in upper Pyrex bowl, take the Pyrex bowl of water, add one cup of chocolate protein powder, one cup of oats, the espresso shot and Splenda. Mix together. Let this cool off for 20 minutes.

With the ice cream scoop, shape the truffles. Put them on the top of the baking paper and allow to cool for 10 minutes. Take one plate, add one cup of vanilla protein powder and roll the truffles on it. This gives you the option of white truffles. Use one cup of chocolate protein powder on another plate provides dark truffles.

Taken from www.bodybuilding.com/fun/drobson153.htm

My friend has trouble getting it up...

But I don't have that kind of problem.

A dozen or so things I could never do.

• Bench press anything less than 1 tonne.
• Date a girl with a faster car than me.
• Walk past a mirror without checking myself out.
• Pass a drug test.
• Listen to Bliss'n Eso for longer than a 10 seconds without laughing.
• Put a t-shirt on without stretching the neck larger than the waist.
• Play video games without a reinforced titanium controller.
• Enjoy sex with someone that isn't me.
• Wear a baseball hat and tuck my ears into the hat.
• Talk about something that doesn't involve my awesome physique.

Don't live life in the small lane...

As much as I enjoyed swimming today, I did encounter a few problems. Why are the lapping lanes so small?! I need to take up at least two lanes, one way, to be able to do laps. It's no real problem knocking smaller swimmers out/out of the way, but I don't want to get kicked from the pool every time I dabble in a little cardio*.


*Cardio is one of my many guilty pleasures. If you do too much cardio exercise you'll find that your muscles, if you have any worth mentioning, will shrink. And we all know how pathetic that would make you look.

Surfing

Today I went Surfing. Not only was it difficult for my board to stay afloat, but I was too large to fit in between the flags. I like surfing.

Introduction

First off, my name's Danny. I am fucking huge. Here's a list of things that will let you know whether you're anything like me:

• Are you pretty and pretty hard to miss?
• Did the U.S. government think that you had two of Saddam's Weapons of Mass Destruction attached to your shoulders?
• Do people confuse you for the Eureka Tower in Melbourne?
• Do you find it difficult to spoon with girls without crushing them?
• Have girls come up to you and touched you to see whether you were cold thinking you were a marbel sculpture - perfect?

Chances are you would have answered No to every question. If you answered Yes to anyone of those questions, I'll meet you at Eltham Gym in 20 and we'll have it out on the benchpress.