Biceptual experience.

To cut a long story short, a friend and I ended up in the sticky hallway of a peep show last night with a gay guy we'd just met. He was a cool guy until he got me alone and posed the question, "You ever had a bi-experience?"
"Sorry?" I replied. In the hope that he wouldn't repeat it again.
He said it a little louder, "You ever had a BI-EXPERIENCE?"
I could have easily little finger curled this guys entire body weight. I really needed an escape from this yucky situation asap. Instead of using my weight to over power or politely saying I wasn't interested I simply replied, "I eat shit."
"Sorry?" He replied. He knew what I'd said.
"I eat shit, dude, and smear it all over my rad body." I said this straight face. (Ha!)
"You mean feces?"
"Yeah, shit. " I said.
"Serious?"
"No shit." So he backed away. Within the minute he'd ask my mate the same question. He's a lot smaller than me and who really gives a fuck what any small guy has to say laughed and told him that he wasn't interested.

This post is sort of a heads-up to my attractive readers so that they know what's the best way to handle a situation like this. If you're small or ugly you've got to take what you can get.

Just a quick observation

Not Again...

She slapped my arse again this morning.

Thanks, Mum... I guess.

This morning I was standing at the kitchen sink in my Y-fronts getting a non-protein drink. My Mum comes up behind me, slaps my arse then says, "You've got a good body, you know that?" I looked at her with a wide-eyed expression and didn't say a word. Nothing more was said.

I didn't know what to make of this situation. Either:
A) Mum was offering a genuine compliment.
B) Mum is leading a double life as the superhero: Captain Obvious.
C) She thought I was someone else (Who else? My brother?!)
D) No woman, not even my Mum, can resist my rad body.

I'm scared.

A big guy squeezes through the door to a bar...

The bartender says, "You can come in, but I can't help you out!"


(This is a post for those of you that don't read ozhiphop. I know you're out there)

Why I can't join the Bra Boys

To join the Bra Boys you need to be able to grab the wrist on your other hand (Left hand grabs right forearm and vice-versa). Koby demonstrates below:


Yep, you guessed it. My forearms are too big to strike this pose.

Arms v. Pillows

This is one of those blog ideas you get before you fall asleep at night: If you can fit your arm under your pillow when you fall asleep then you're small and your life isn't worth living.