it did not move me, you'd have to be pretty fucking strong or a industrial sized crane to do that.
my large frame aside, i spent the whole time watching the movie thinking about how awesome my two cannons felt after last night's new workout regime. occasionally i'd look down to grab my protein shake knavishly concealed in a coke cup from the cinema - i don't want to look like a weirdo or anything - each time flexing hard as i brought the drink to my mouth.
even if i lifted my arm in just the slightest manner it would block out the whole movie screen. i was sitting in the front row because the small attendant said i was a fire hazard. yeah, these two cannons are burning. yeah. recognise.
NO DOUBT everyone in the near vicinity of me was thinking how delicious my two bulging cannons look. take home the memories of the best movie you'll ever see or my photos are being sold in the lobby... at the eye-candy bar. fuck i'm good.
p.s. did i mention that i took up three seats? now you know.
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